Something old, something new

We've had a big 24 here. Last night, Emmett tried something new- he started rice cereal. This morning Emmett spent the day with Bev while I went back to work after two months on maternity leave. So I guess that's two somethings new.

At Emmett's two month appointment, we talked about his formula intake and asked what we should do when 8 oz bottles aren't enough for him. Our doctor gave us the okay to start rice cereal. Even though he'd only been on 8 oz bottles for a week, I bought some bowls, spoons and rice cereal so we'd be ready when he was. We expected him to be on 8 oz for at least a few weeks before starting rice cereal. But yesterday, boy was he ready. In six hours in had 20 oz of formula plus the rice cereal we gave him. Its a little unsettling to be starting him on solids this early. In March I read about infant led solids at Eco Child's Play and was thinking about taking that approach to solids. It looks like thats out the window. But thats okay. Every baby is different and we need to do right for our baby. Emmett is adjusting to this new addition to his diet pretty well. He was confused and frustrated at first. He was hungry but we weren't giving him a bottle. So then he got angry and I ended up feeding him a few more ounces just to calm him down. He's doing better with the cereal today. We're starting slow and a friend suggested feeding him the cereal between bottles instead of when he's already hungry. That worked really well today so we're going to keep up with that. (thanks Mel!)

This morning was much easier than I thought it would be. But then, Crys is the one who dropped Emmett off with Bev. It helps that Emmett and I visited Bev a couple of times over the last two months, so I'd already seen her playing with him. She even watched him for a few hours one afternoon a few weeks ago. It was more like dropping him off with grandma than day care. I'll be sad when Bev has to go back to work and its time for Emmett to go to real day care. Bev was kind enough to send me an email half way through the day to tell me how he was doing. She even attached a few pictures of Emmett playing. It sounds like she and Emmett had a pretty good day. I hope he continues to be charming and delightful for her.

Work was good. I missed structure that doesn't revolve around bottles and diapers. I missed adults. It was nice that everyone was excited to see me back at work. Before he was born, I didn't think I'd want to stay home with him after my maternity leave was done. But part of me did want to stay. If we could afford for me to stay home, I would. The nice thing about not being able to afford for one of us to stay home means neither one of us feels like we're choosing work over our son.

I leave you with a few pictures of Emmett's first attempt at rice cereal. We made is a black tie event...

Advice

Generally speaking, I like occasional advice. Especially when it comes to things we need to buy for the baby. We've never done this whole baby thing before so we were out of our element when it came time to start making purchases. Even with asking friends for advice, there are things I didn't think to ask, advice I decided not to listen to and advice that worked out really well. Here are a few bits of advice from me.

Bottles
Eight ounce bottles do hold 8 ounces, but the formula adds extra volume. So when your baby starts taking 8 ounces, those bottles that worked so well for six ounces are less than ideal for eight. When you buy the big bottles, buy bottles that hold nine ounces. Your life will be easier and you'll save a little money. Even with 9 ounce capacity, you'll still need to add the formula before all the water is in the bottle. Oh, and when a friend tells you that the bottles on your registry are good but the numbers wear off, it's a good idea to listen and find a different bottle.

Car Seats
Like most new parents, we decided to go with the car seat that snaps into a base and can be taken out of the car easily. We also decided that we'd only really use the ability to take our car seat out of the car when necessary. So far, that has worked for us. Which means, we really didn't need the bucket seat, we could have gone straight to the convertible car seat. See, if Emmett's weight gain stays consistent, he'll be too heavy for his car seat sometime in August. We'll end up buying three car seats for Emmett. We should have done one of two things. Either just bought a convertible seat or spent a little extra money to buy a bucket seat that can accommodate a bigger baby. Sometimes it pays to spend a little extra money. That said, if we had bought the convert able seat to begin with, there's a good chance I'd be sitting here, whining about how we should have bought a bucket seat.

Strollers
We love our stroller. Because we didn't want to be taking the car seat out of the car, we decided against a travel system. Instead, we took the advice of a friend and bought a very nice umbrella stroller. The stroller reclines and has a five point harness. It folds up easily and it very compact. For us, its perfect. We were happy to discover that deciding against the travel system was a good move for us. That isn't the case for everyone, but I encourage new parents to at least consider alternatives to a travel system car seat/stroller combo.

Nursery chairs
Initially we were going to buy a glider for Emmett's room. I don't remember why anymore. My mom suggested looking at recliners before making a commitment to a chair and we are so glad she did. We've both fallen asleep in that recliner multiple times. Maybe if we didn't have such a comfortable chair we wouldn't have spent so much time sleeping in Emmett's room the first month or so. But I sure am glad we went the Lazyboy route.

Baby book
We spent too much money on Emmett's baby book. We spent almost as much money on the baby book as we did on his car seat. I'm not complaining though. Its gender neutral in that instead of 'mom' and 'dad' pages, there are 'parent' pages. Its adorable. We love his baby book. This was just another time I learned that spending more is sometimes worth it.

Pacifiers
In a previous post I mentioned that Emmett will only take the Gumdrop pacifier we got in the hospital, which also happens to be the only pacifier we can't buy in the store. I was reluctant to purchase additional pacifiers at that time. We talked to our doctor yesterday about getting another one but he didn't have any. So this morning I ordered more online. We decided that with all the changes that are going to happen in the next two months, mainly being cared for by several different people, it isn't worth the fight on this one. If the person comforting him during the day is not going to be a constant, at least his pacifier will be. And now we don't have to worry about losing the only one we have.

Diaper bag
We bought our diaper bag online because we didn't see one in the store that we both liked. We never use it. We don't hate the bag, it ended up being exactly what we wanted. Its just not what we ended up needing after Emmett arrived. We have four diaper bags (a shower gift and two free bags) and I really can't justify getting another one. The free ones work pretty well so we'll be just fine. But we should have used the free one from the hospital or doctor's office until we knew what we needed and then bought one based on our actual experience instead of what we thought we would needed.

I think the two most important things I learned about buying stuff for baby after Emmett was born are: 1) Sometimes it's worth spending a little extra money to get what will work best for you. If you try to be frugal you may end up spending more money in the long run when your original (and cheaper) purchase doesn't work out. Or you'll be stuck with something you don't like. 2) For the stuff you're going to use regularly, if you can, wait to buy it. Wait until you know what you'll need instead of buying what you think you'll need.

The best advice I can give is to do what you think is best. We ignored perfectly good advice, not because we didn't think it was valid, but because we decided it wasn't best for us. Sometimes that worked out and sometimes it didn't. But we have no one to blame for the stuff that didn't work but ourselves and we're not stuck wondering what would have happened if we'd just done it our way.

Happy morning

Emmett woke me up at 4:30 this morning for his bottle. He wasn't crying but I could tell he was ready to get up and eat. When I went into his room he looked up and smiled at me. Its the second day in a row he's done that and it just makes my day no matter how early it is.

Big little trooper

Today was Emmett's two month check up complete with shots. He weighed in at 16 pounds, 14 ounces. Good lord, this kid is going to double his birth weight by the end of three months, not six. Crazy. He is 25 inches long with a head circumference of 25 inches. Our doctor laughed while he was asking if Emmett is eating well. He certainly doesn't look likes he's missing any bottles. I asked our doctor what we should do when 8 ounce bottles aren't enough anymore and he gave us the go ahead with rice cereal in the formula whenever Emmett is ready. I had hoped to put off solids until 6 months, but it looks like Emmett has other plans for that.

Two weeks ago, Emmett saw the PA because his belly button still wasn't healed. The PA made sure is wasn't infected and said it would heal in time. But here we are at eight weeks and his belly button still hasn't healed. Luckily our doctor agreed that this has gone on far too long and put some silver nitrate on it. The unhealed belly button (really, there just isn't a better way to explain that) never really bothered Emmett or showed any signs of infection, but it was time for this to be healed. So hopefully this is the end of it. He wasn't terribly happy about it, but got over that pretty quickly.

After considering all of our v.accination options (none, delaying some and all on schedule) we decided to go ahead with the traditional schedule. This means Emmett had one oral v.accination and five shots. He was pretty cute with the oral one and smiled at the nurse the entire time she was giving it to him. Actually, he was smiling and moving all through the appointment. We think he likes the sound the paper makes when he moves. Then the shots started. Two in each leg and one in the arm. He cried with each one and then calmed down a little before the next one. The nurse was quick and the whole thing was over in just a few minutes. Afterwards he fell asleep and stayed that way for a couple of hours. He had one meltdown this afternoon but that was my fault. The T.ylenol we gave him before the shots had worn off and I forgot to give him another dose plus he had gotten tired again. Between the tired and the pain he just couldn't get calm. Eventually we got there and he's been fine the rest of the day.

Today's verdict? Emmett is a healthy baby who is completely unimpressed by shots.

Two month comparison

Here are pictures of Emmett at 4 days, one month and two months old.

Two month updates

Emmett is two months today, here are some updates:

• Emmett has been sleeping 7 to 8 hours a night all week. We're thrilled and hope this continues.
• He's drinking 8 oz more often than 6 oz these days. He graduated to 6 oz at about 5 weeks.
• He discovered his tongue and likes to stick it out. He also discovered that his tongue can make clicking noises in his mouth.
• He's been spending more and more time on his play mat and looking at his mobile. He loves to spend this time smiling at and talking to his toys and telling him things he knows we don't understand.
• Tummy time is still not a favorite but he can hold himself up when he tries.
• He has started "talking" when he cries. He also does the good old fashioned screaming cry pretty frequently, but the talking cry is pretty cute.
• He is starting to lock his knees, making it possible for him to stand assisted. Usually this happens when he's upset and crying. But its a start.

His personality is really starting to show and its getting easier to play with him. Crys loves to talk to him because he's taking back. I mostly like to watch him play on his own do talk to him too. We've both been reading him stories but Crys is better at getting him to look at the pictures. I've been taking baths with him lately. He approaches bath time the same as when it was just in the sink. He doesn't cry and get upset about being in the water but he doesn't show a great deal of excitement either. Mostly it just makes him calm. Crys really wants a little swimmer. I'll settle for a kid that isn't afraid of the water!

I leave you with video of Emmett talking to his mobile.

Gumdrop

Emmett loves the pacifier we got in the hospital. It has the same nipple as the Soothies, those really weird round pacifiers with the hole in the middle, but it has more of a semi circle shape to it. Its called a Gumdrop pacifier. He got really tired earlier and I tried his Nuk pacifier, I tried his Soothie pacifier but it wasn't until I went out to the car and found his Gumdrop pacifier that he actually fell asleep. Of course, Gumdrop pacifiers aren't sold in stores. Not here anyway. This poses a potential problem.

So we only have one of these pacifiers and eventually its going to get lost or dirty beyond repair. Now, Gumdrop pacifiers are sold online, they weren't hard to find. But this brings up a few questions. Do I really need to order pacifiers for my son online? Can't I just get him used to another kind? Which is more important, that he have the only kind he absolutely can not live without right now or that we find a more readily available brand? Right now, I can't tell you. I'm still thinking about that one. Crys is all for ordering online. When it comes right down to it, ordering them online is about the same price are buying Nuks or Soothies in the store. So that isn't an issue.


The only real concern I have is that the web site calls it a newborn pacifier so I worry that we'll buy five or six online and then he'll outgrow it and we'll just have to get him used to a new brand anyway. Hmmm, its something I have to figure out, but it isn't very high on my priority list at the moment. The only time we really need the pacifier is when he has a meltdown. I get him in the Moby and then give him the pacifier. He's out in minutes. This afternoon, even in the Moby, he wouldn't calm down without the Gumdrop pacifier. The combination of the two (Moby and Gumdrop) is like magic at our house.


All I know is that I've learned, when it comes to baby stuff, sometimes it isn't worth skimping on what they want and/or need.

Meltdown city

Remember how I said that Emmett never stays in a routine for much longer than a few days? That is still our one constant. Oh, and he's still eating six ounces at every feeding. Its rare for us to refridgerate leftovers. I suppose that's pretty constant too. Late last week and early this week Emmett had a nice routine going. I liked it. It involved a nice morning and afternoon nap with feedings/play time inbetween and about four or five hours of awake time in the evening. It was a nice little routine. It had such promise.

Then he decided that morning nap wasn't necessary. Our new routine involves Emmett staying awake until he absolutely can not anymore and then having a complete meltdown that ends in a crash and burn nap. After about an hour he wakes. Wash, rinse repeat.

The meltdowns suck. But I can't complain about it too much. Emmett is still an easy to sooth baby. When he gets upset like that, it just takes a little more work to get him calmed down. Lately, when we can't calm him any other way, we put him in the Moby and turn the radio up really loud. A little swaying and he's out. Nothing induces sleep like the Moby. I just hate to use it for that all the time.

Here are a few of the other things we've found that help sooth our baby.

1. Swaying and bouncing while cradling him. This works when he's just upset for the sake of being upset and needs to be held.
2. Shushing. It's from the 5 S's for calming a baby. We get right up to his hear and shush pretty loudly. When we first saw the 5 S's video in our birthing class we both thought it was a little harsh to make that much noise right in a baby's ear. But damn, it works.
3. Really loud music. Sometimes his crying gets a little out of control and the loud music distracts him long enough for us to get him calmed down.
4. Crying back at him. I honestly don't think this is very effective but Cyrs does it when she runs out of ideas. It works, but not for very long. He doesn't like being mocked.
5. Rocking and using a pacifier help, but only when he's a little whiney, neither is very effective with full on crying.

What do you do (or have done) to sooth your baby?

Day care...finally

We finally have day care lined up. This isn't anything new, our spot was confirmed over a month ago. I just keep forgetting to write about it.

In my last installment of this particular saga, we were completely unimpressed with the way the campus day care was handling everything and had turned to a not for profit center in the neighborhood where we grew up, its not very far from where we are now. When we first talked to the director of our preferred center she made it sound like there was an 80% chance we'd get a spot. Well, I sent her an e-mail after Emmett was born to get details and after a week still hadn't heard from her. So I called. Twice because she didn't return my first call. When I finally talked to her it sounded like the chance of getting a spot at the beginning of August was slim and for the first time she mentioned a waiting list. She mentioned it because we weren't at the top. That doesn't bother me, not knowing there was a waiting list at all bothered me. At least the other centers we called were up front about that. It also bothered me that she seemed to be avoiding me. Whatever.

While I was trying to get a hold of the director at our preferred center, I was contacted by the campus day care director and told we were being offered a space. We met with her, discovered that while she is incapable of organizing communication for a new center she is in fact quite capable of running a center. So we took the spot and paid the two week deposit. I think the other center would have been better because it has been around for more than 25 years with very little turn over. But I couldn't take my chances and hope we'd be able to get in. The campus center is going to be just fine. We could tell the director had worked at enough day care centers that she knew exactly what she wanted when creating her own and it looks like its going to work out very well.

The only hitch? The center doesn't open until school starts at the end of August. I go back to work on June 29th. We had already lined up care for July. The wife a guy I work with works for the public schools here and has the summer off. She is super excited to play grandma for a month. That leaves us with three weeks in August. Crys is taking the first week off work. We have a few volunteers to take him for part days the last two weeks. Unfortunately this is a pretty busy time for me. I'll be able to swing working some partial days, but probably can't take many full days off. Whatever happens, between our volunteers, my parents, Crys and a somewhat flexible schedule for me, we should be just fine.

While I love being home with Emmett and wouldn't mind more time with him, I'm very ready for him to be in day care so we can deal with the last child care transition. I'm sure each change will come with a transition period for him. Luckily he dictates the schedule so that should help. Crys and I will be fine during the next few months with all the child care changes. If there's anything we've learned, its that after you have kids, you have a life that is constantly in flux.

Last appointment

Today was my last postpartum/post op appointment with my OB. I'll miss seeing her somewhat regularly. She was fantastic. Emmett almost didn't come to this appointment with me. Bev, the woman who will be taking care of Emmett in July was going to watch him for a few hours to get to know him. Then I decided my doctor and the nurses would probably like to see Emmett one last time. So Bev will see Emmett tomorrow. Today I brought him in his stroller to making letting people hold him easier and everyone was thrilled, they just loved him. Most of the nurses couldn't believe he's only seven weeks. He, of course, decided it was time to eat while I was waiting for the doctor. Luckily, this practice uses real sheets instead of the paper ones, so I tied it around my waist and fed him while we waited. After holding him for a few minutes and chatting with me, my doctor went off to find a nurse who could spare a few minutes to feed the hungry baby while I got a pap smear. She didn't have to look for too long.

I left with a clean bill of health. My incision is fully healed (about damn time, too) but is still seeping fluid. I just need to put a strip of 100% cotton or muslin on the incision for a few days and that should take care of that. There's a technical term for my new problem, but I can't remember it.

One thing that surprised me was that my doctor mentioned she delivered babies for a lot of lesbian couples at her practice in Lawrence, KS. She said it was much more than she sees here. The topic came up because had asked if all of our legal paperwork was in order (it is). She mentioned that she was reading something new. I can't for the life of me remember the organization that released it or what it was. When your behind is hanging off the table, it's sometimes hard to pay attention. It didn't sound like a journal, more like an annual publication. But she said there was a whole section on GLBT parents and the legalities behind GLBT parenting. That was good to hear.

It was a good appointment and Emmett had a good time being held and talked to by all the nice ladies.

Emmett can

Emmett can laugh and coo, I call it talking. He just started doing this a few days ago and its adorable. Everyday he talks a little more. This morning he was up at 4:30am to eat and didn't want to sleep after he was done. So I put him on the floor and he just talked away while he was moving his arms and legs. Last night he was talking to Crys while she read him a story and she just loved it.

Emmett can move like a mad man. He has always moved his arms and legs, but his movement has really picked up lately. My dad says its like he's trying to take off. The last couple of mornings when I've gone in his room to feed him, I've found him lying in his crib horizontally when he was put to sleep vertically.

Emmett can put himself to sleep. So this has only happened once...this morning. I was rocking him after we played and before he fell asleep, decided to see if he could go to sleep on his own. I realize my last post said this wasn't something I was in any hurry to do, but I wanted to see if he could do it. And he can. This is something I'm not going to push, if he needs to be rocked, we'll rock him. But when he can fall asleep on his own, great.

Emmett can sit by himself and be perfectly content. Usually when he's awake, he likes to be entertained. Saturday I spent the afternoon playing cards with my mom and sister while my dad played with Emmett. Dad got tired of playing with Emmett before Emmett got tired playing with him so Emmett was put in his vibrating chair (my mom bought one for her house) on the table where we were playing cards. He was perfectly happy talking away on his own for about 20 minutes. He especially likes looking out the window...I really need to spend more time with him outside.

Emmett can sleep through the night. He is consistently sleeping 5-7 hours at night. Lately his night has been ending at 4:30. Today I'm trying to stay up when he gets up (the past few days I've managed to catch a few hours of sleep in the morning). Hopefully I won't crash and burn at 3pm (or earlier). I'll let you know how this works out. Since his day starts so early, Crys has been putting him to bed while I go to bed early and I've been getting up with him so Crys can sleep in a little. So far so good...for me anyway. Twice now Crys has fallen asleep while rocking Emmett to sleep. Last week when it happened, she woke up at 7am in Emmett's recliner, with him in her lap and his bottle on the floor. I woke up at about the same time trying to figure out why I didn't wake up when Crys came to bed. Turns out she didn't. It was my first night of uninterrupted sleep since before I got pregnant (usually, if Crys lets me sleep through the night, I still get up when she comes to bed or has to get up with him) and it was beautiful. The second time it happened was last night. Lucky for Crystal, I woke up to pee at 12:30 and found them sleeping in the recliner together. Otherwise she would have spent another night sleeping sitting up.

Emmett can locate his hands. He doesn't seem to care about them very much yet, but he knows where they are.

Emmett can poop out of his diapers. This happened for the first time on Saturday. It was gross, but not as bad as I thought it would be. Luckily he was wearing a sleeper so it was all contained even though it came out of the diaper. If I had waited too long to change his diaper last night, it would have happened again. On me. Ew.

Emmett can make his mommies smile every day in many, many ways.

A decision

My mom likes to say that Emmett is spoiled. We hold him too much when he sleeps. We'll never get him to sleep in his bed. We need to get him to fall asleep in his crib without one of us rocking him. I hate to admit it, but she's a little right. During the day, he isn't very good at sleeping in his crib. We'll get him to sleep, put him in his crib and ten minutes later he'll be crying. If we need to feed him at 3am, chances are, one of us will be sleeping with him in the recliner until we need to wake up for the day. We've been slowly working on getting him to sleep in his crib more often. Slowly.

But this afternoon, Emmett was fussy. I couldn't get him to stop crying until I turned up the radio in his room and rocked him. He fell asleep almost immediately. He just needed me to cuddle and rock him. As I was rocking him, I realized that one day, rocking him isn't going to enough. One day my lap, my arms, my heart beat, my voice won't be enough.

So I'm going to take advantage of today when he does need me. There is going to be a day when he'll have to nap in his bed by himself. There is going to be a day when I'll have to stop rocking him to sleep. But that day will come when we're both ready. And today is not that day.

Changing table stake out

Recently I noticed that Emmett smiles when he's on the changing table. When we first brought him home, it seems as though he preferred being in dirty diapers to being half naked long enough to change them. He pitched quite the fit whenver we changed his diaper. But now, he does in fact enjoy getting naked. He especially likes it when I live life on the edge and don't immediately put him in a new diaper. Crys attributes this new found love of airing his privates to my side of the family. The men are not shy. Neither are the women, but us ladies are less likely to flash and/or moon the innocent passer-by than the menfolk. But I digress...

This discovery made me realize that to get a good picture of his smile, instead of only looking for the things he finds funny, I can also look for the things he enjoys. Of course, its possible he finds being half naked amusing and enjoyable. I'll add it to the list of things we're going to ask him when he can talk. Something Crys says should be any day now considering I'm the bio mom (my grandma claims I came out of the womb talking). So I staged a changing table stake out. Sadly, that isn't nearly as exciting as it sounds. It just consisted of having the camera handy when I changed him, something I was not very good at remembering to do. It took some patience, but I finally got it. Below are a few of both my failed and successful attempts of catching that cute little smile on camera.

Where's daddy?

We were at the mall with Crys's mom (Kim) and Kim's husband, Jack (at least she tells us they're still married but we've heard differently) last weekend. Or maybe it was two weeks ago. Days are starting to blend and run into each other right now. Anyway, Kim needed to do some clothes shopping so we left her in the women's section of a department store and made our way to some benches in the open area between stores. On our way out, a woman at one of the make up counters saw Emmett all cosy in his Moby (which we LOVE by the way) and started asking me questions. Crys and I stopped to talk for a minute but Jack just kept walking out of the store. Jack has red hair. Emmett's hair looks red. The make up lady noticed Emmett's hair and said, "where's daddy?" as she looked in the direction Jack had walked (we assume she got a quick glance of Jack as he walked away). I replied with, "daddy was a donor." This embarrassed the make up lady who immediately apologized. We told her it was nothing to be sorry about and finally managed to leave the store, laughing. We thought it was funny.

I've told a lot of people about this. Most people think her question was totally none of her business. Of course, strangers ask my friend if she's breastfeeding, something I've never been asked, but is much more inappropriate than questions about daddy. Whatever, telling people we used a donor doesn't bother me. How else do two gals get knocked up?

My mom thinks I should just tell people the dad isn't in the picture. I'm not sure how this is a better response. Some people would read that as, "I'm irresponsible and this is the product of my drunken, unprotected one night stand last year." I'd rather tell people I'm a lesbian than easy or a slut or whatever my mom's idea of the ideal response would make people think of me. Not to mention, what's wrong with the truth? She doesn't think I should make people embarrassed or uncomfortable. Well, maybe the truth will make people think twice before asking strangers personal questions. Or maybe, it will give us the opportunity to show someone who has never met a lesbian that we're just like everyone else. My mom means well.

SAB and I were talking about my encounter at the mall and she pointed out that people need to start understanding that the traditional nuclear family isn't the rule any more. That situation would have been just as uncomfortable (or more so) if Emmett was adopted or a foster child or the son of a straight couple that used an anonymous donor or my sister's son that I'm taking care of because she's in jail or deployed. And these are just the scenarios I can think of off the top of my head at 2am.

What does Crys think of this? She thinks it none of anyone's business and fully intends to tell that to the next person who asks. One of the many reasons I love her.

Updates

Today is better than yesterday. I'm not feeling sorry for myself so much any more. Sometimes its nice to have a day like that. And now its over. Here are some updates on things that have been going on lately.

Emmett and I still have a little healing to do. When his umbilical cord stump fell off, the skin didn't heal immediately and it looks like he has an outie, so it thats making it harder for the skin to heal completely. I called our doctor last week to see if we needed to bring him in and have it looked at but he doesn't think so. We just need to watch for signs of infection. So far, so good. My incision is still open in one place. My OB had said we could stop irrigating over a week ago, but we've needed to continue that every couple of days because of signs of infection.

Emmett has an odd sense of humor that we haven't quite figured out yet, so still no pictures of his adorable smile. He seems to like being naked so maybe next time I change him I'll have the camera ready. We're starting to get into a routine that he will more than likely change in a few days. He's awake for a few hours in the morning, sleeps until around six and then stays up until ten or eleven when we put him to bed.

My baby blues are pretty much gone. I did cry a little yesterday but it had been at least a week since the last time I'd cried. My hair isn't falling out when I brush it yet so it seems like the hormones are still hanging around, but at least its mostly manageable.

Crys and I are doing pretty good. We still have some bad days, but mostly, we have good days. So all in all, I'm happy to report that things are going pretty well.

Escape

Last night I bought "My Sister's Keeper" so I could escape into a book today. This isn't an uncommon occurrence for me, although as Emmett gets older I'm sure it will be. Luckily I'll have a busy child to distract me.

Emmett is still fantastic. Just about the only time he ever cries any more is when he's hungry or has a gas bubble. Of course now that we have that figured out, he'll change. He does that. He's still sleeping for five to six hours at night, a luxury we haven't quite gotten used to. We both still find ourselves sleeping in the recliner in his room, usually with him. Its mostly because sometimes he makes a lot of noise when he sleeps by himself and the easiest way to get a quite couple of hours is to sleep with him. We're not complaining though. If that's the least of our worries, we'll take it. So Emmett isn't the problem.

Things with Crys are good. Getting much better. Right now the problem is that she's working an eight day stretch. Having her home on the weekends has been really nice for me. Not so much because I need a break, but because I have company. Or more specifically, her company. I've gotten a little lonely and bored here this weekend. I miss her. But that isn't the problem. Or all of it anyway.

My family is the problem. After five weeks of constant visits from my parents or the expectation that we visit them (until now, they've only not seen him four days in the last five weeks), snide comments about me in general and criticism about how we take care of Emmett, I was ready for the break this week. They left for Minnesota on Friday and will be gone until this coming Friday. The problem is we were supposed to be going to Minnesota for the weekend. We were going to my cousin's wedding and to visit my 94 year old grandma so she could meet Emmett. But about a month ago we found out Crys couldn't get off work. No problem, my sister Molly was already planning to fly home to Nebraska and then ride up to Minnesota with my parents. She agreed to go with me instead so I wouldn't have to make the drive by myself. She was staying the full week with my dad but mom and I didn't want to stay home that long. So mom was going to ride back with me on Monday. But two weeks ago they all really started thinking about what it would me to have me and Emmett on the trip too and didn't want us to go. The choice was mine to make, but it was pretty clear which choice they wanted me to make.

Who wants to vacation with a baby that cries at three in the morning? Who wants to make a ten or eleven hour car ride when you can do it in nine hours without a baby? I thought his grandparents and aunt would. I thought wrong. And when it comes right now too it, I think they have this idea of who I am based on me as a sixteen year old. Sixteen was almost half a lifetime ago for me. And now they've made assumptions about the parent I am based on me as a sixteen year old too. Its not just the crying infant they don't want to deal with, they don't want their possibly sleep deprived and cranky new mom around either because of how they think I'll act. They all told me its not that they didn't want us to go, they just thought the trip would be hard on both of us. They mean well. But between the way my parents have been treating me the last five weeks and the post partum hormones, I couldn't help being offended.

So instead of getting away for a few days this weekend, something I've been looking forward to for months, I'm home alone with my baby. Instead of getting away, I'm having a pity party and escaping into a book when the baby is sleeping. I know, if this is my biggest problem, I really don't have much to complain about. I'm still going to have my pity party anyway though.

Double trouble

So I didn't do anything I'd planned to do yesterday. But that wasn't completely my fault. I had agreed to watch SAB's son in the morning and forgot about it when I was making plans. So we had two babies for a couple hours yesterday. It was pretty fun. Oliver (our little visitor) was a little upset when he's mom left but then we played a little on the floor, got hungry at the same time (luckily Crys was still here) and rocked out to the mobile in Emmett's crib. I was excited that I manged to take care of two infants almost completely by myself. After SAB was done at her meeting we went out for lunch. I had volunteered to help at a picnic my office sponsored last night. So I just didn't have enough time to tackle the projects I wanted.

In other news, I tried on a few of my pre pregnancy clothes the other day. The closer fitting shirts still don't fit (I've been wearing a few loose shirts since we came home from the hospital) but one of my pairs of jeans fits. That was exciting. I've been worried about not fitting into my pre pregnancy clothes before going back to work. I'm well on my way to putting that fear to rest.

And now I leave you with a picture from Emmett's first play date...

Change up

But first, something I forgot to include in my post yesterday. Blogging for LGBT families day is hosted by Dana over at Mombian. A list of all the fabulous contributors can be found here.

We've had a change up in our routine lately. Crys started working a later shift again and doesn't have to be at work until 11:30. It's beautiful because I get to sleep in and she's been taking the 3am feeding. I suspect its because she feels bad for me, not because that's the one she honestly prefers. So I may be taking that one back. We'll see.

Emmett has changed up his routine too. Actually, he doesn't stick to a routine for much more than a couple of days. But I liked his last routine. He was eating 6 ounces every feeding. Nights he'd go six hours, then five hours in the morning, four in the afternoon and finally three hours between his last two feedings of the day. It meant he wasn't eating at say, six every morning, but at least it was predictable. The last couple of days he's decided that sometimes he needs 8 ounces, which worries me a little. Should a five week old really be eating that much? We don't have a one month appointment but I have a few other questions and need to call the doctor anyway. I'm sure it's fine, but I'd like to check...just in case.

Emmett doesn't really have a routine right now. It's hard to tell when he's going to go six hours between feedings and when it'll be three. The occasional extra two ounces doesn't help determine how long it will be until his next feeding. Despite the unpredictability of Emmett's feeding lately, life has been pretty good. He's sleeping longer at night and we've had quite a few days where he only gets fussy when he's hungry. We went for a walk with SAB and her son on Monday, which he seemed to like and today he took a long enough nap for me to organize some papers I'd let pile up since sometime in my second trimester. Tomorrow I'm going to tackle my clothes. Or maybe I'll get some work done on my paper. Of course now that I've made tentative plans, Emmett is going to throw a wrench in them. I suspect that will be true for the rest of my life. I can't say that bothers me at all.

Daily lesson

I have ten minutes left in blogging for LGBT families day. It's been a busy day so I didn't have time before now (read as: didn't know what to write) and I undoubtedly won't finish this post in ten minutes (I don't think it will matter). I really shouldn't be staying up, my son is finally asleep and it would be wise to take advantage of the chance to get some sleep myself. But I wanted to write something about families today.

My first blogging for LGBT families day was last year, it was the first year my blog existed. A year ago, Crys and I were trying to get pregnant. We were between attempts numbers 1 & 2. It was disappointing and exciting. Disappointment that our first attempt didn't work. Exciting because we hadn't expected it to and had high hopes for attempt number two. In the end, number two didn't work out either. But attempt the thrid time was the charm and now we have our son. I honestly can't imagine our family without Emmett.

During my pregnancy, some days I worried that Crys would not feel connected to Emmett. That she'd see him and see someone else's son that she now has to help care for. I worried she'd regret agreeing to do this because she didn't fully understand how having a baby would change our lives and relationship. I worried a lot about silly things during my pregnancy and that's just what it was, a silly worry. Every day she talks about how much she loves our son. She whispers in his ear that she loves him and coos at him like he's the only person she ever wants to talk to.

Crys teaches me every day something I thought I already knew, biology doesn’t make a family. Blood doesn’t make a family. Love makes a family and she makes our family better every day.

Comparison

Last Thursday, one month after Emmett was born, we dressed him up in the clothes he came home in and took a picture comparing him at birth and at one month. Here are the pictures...