Escape

Last night I bought "My Sister's Keeper" so I could escape into a book today. This isn't an uncommon occurrence for me, although as Emmett gets older I'm sure it will be. Luckily I'll have a busy child to distract me.

Emmett is still fantastic. Just about the only time he ever cries any more is when he's hungry or has a gas bubble. Of course now that we have that figured out, he'll change. He does that. He's still sleeping for five to six hours at night, a luxury we haven't quite gotten used to. We both still find ourselves sleeping in the recliner in his room, usually with him. Its mostly because sometimes he makes a lot of noise when he sleeps by himself and the easiest way to get a quite couple of hours is to sleep with him. We're not complaining though. If that's the least of our worries, we'll take it. So Emmett isn't the problem.

Things with Crys are good. Getting much better. Right now the problem is that she's working an eight day stretch. Having her home on the weekends has been really nice for me. Not so much because I need a break, but because I have company. Or more specifically, her company. I've gotten a little lonely and bored here this weekend. I miss her. But that isn't the problem. Or all of it anyway.

My family is the problem. After five weeks of constant visits from my parents or the expectation that we visit them (until now, they've only not seen him four days in the last five weeks), snide comments about me in general and criticism about how we take care of Emmett, I was ready for the break this week. They left for Minnesota on Friday and will be gone until this coming Friday. The problem is we were supposed to be going to Minnesota for the weekend. We were going to my cousin's wedding and to visit my 94 year old grandma so she could meet Emmett. But about a month ago we found out Crys couldn't get off work. No problem, my sister Molly was already planning to fly home to Nebraska and then ride up to Minnesota with my parents. She agreed to go with me instead so I wouldn't have to make the drive by myself. She was staying the full week with my dad but mom and I didn't want to stay home that long. So mom was going to ride back with me on Monday. But two weeks ago they all really started thinking about what it would me to have me and Emmett on the trip too and didn't want us to go. The choice was mine to make, but it was pretty clear which choice they wanted me to make.

Who wants to vacation with a baby that cries at three in the morning? Who wants to make a ten or eleven hour car ride when you can do it in nine hours without a baby? I thought his grandparents and aunt would. I thought wrong. And when it comes right now too it, I think they have this idea of who I am based on me as a sixteen year old. Sixteen was almost half a lifetime ago for me. And now they've made assumptions about the parent I am based on me as a sixteen year old too. Its not just the crying infant they don't want to deal with, they don't want their possibly sleep deprived and cranky new mom around either because of how they think I'll act. They all told me its not that they didn't want us to go, they just thought the trip would be hard on both of us. They mean well. But between the way my parents have been treating me the last five weeks and the post partum hormones, I couldn't help being offended.

So instead of getting away for a few days this weekend, something I've been looking forward to for months, I'm home alone with my baby. Instead of getting away, I'm having a pity party and escaping into a book when the baby is sleeping. I know, if this is my biggest problem, I really don't have much to complain about. I'm still going to have my pity party anyway though.