All through the night

The good nights are so good and the bad nights are so bad. Our first two nights at home we basically took turns sleeping in the recliner. Once, we were both sleeping in bed but I was positive he was crying and the monitor wasn't picking it up, I swear I heard it, but he was sleeping soundly. I ended up sleeping in the recliner until Crys came in to check on us.

We've finally mostly gotten over worrying about him dying during the night. I have to remember that even when I was sleeping in his room, there was no way I could have known if he wasn't breathing because I don't wake up until he cries.

Our decision not to co bed almost didn't work out on the first night home. We'd get him to sleep, put him in his crib and then hearing him screaming less than five minutes later. We finally put his travel bed in the crib, it's about the size of his hospital bassinet. We're hoping to get him sleeping in his crib soon, but we're not too worried since this arrangement works well.

The best night we've had by far was Tuesday night. He ate at 10pm, 2:30am and 8am. When he wasn't eating, he was sleeping. It was heaven. We went to bed together and slept together for the first time since the night before our induction. The worst night has been all the rest. Last night was especially hard because he slept all day. When he wants to sleep, there's nothing we can do to make him stay awake for an hour or two. When he wants to be awake, there's nothing we can do to make him sleep. Last night he was awake from 7pm to 4am. The hardest part was he'd trick me into thinking he was going to sleep, like take a bottle and fall asleep mid feeding. Then stay asleep while I was burping him. I'd get in bed and he'd wake up screaming. We're hoping to have more nights like Tuesday and fewer nights like last night. But what are the chances?



The "I'm making a dirty diaper" face

The hat I make him wear to bed, I don't think he cares for it very much.

My new favorite picture.